the short answer is yes, it is possible. The follow up question usually goes something like, “how quickly can it happen?” or even “it is easy to do?” both really pertinent questions; and not easy ones to answer because it all depends.

Depend on what, you ask. Well let’s take a dive into what behavior change IS first, then we can tackle those other questions.

Behavior change (known in the mental health field as behavior modification) is about identifying and strengthening a new behavior to extinguish the old behavior. For example, if someone wants to stop smoking on work breaks (old behavior) they will identify a replacement routine to perform on work breaks that does not include going to the smoke spot with peers (new behavior). Old behaviors are oftentimes considered unhealthy, dangerous, harmful to the individual or to their goals, hence the reasons for extinguishing it. In my practice, some of the old behaviors that client’s want to change include angry outbursts towards loved ones, eating/drinking when stressed out, engaging in risky sexual behaviors, and so on.

Once the old behavior is clearly identified, it’s about generating ideas and trying out the new behaviors, the replacement behaviors. The more ideas that can be generated initially, the greater the likelihood that the client will find one that feels right to them. For behavior change to be sustainable the replacement behavior must be as enticing or satisfying as the old behavior. You may be thinking, why does it even need to be replaced; why can’t it just be extinguished? here’s your answer. Because it would not stay extinguished! See when we feel uncomfortable feelings, we do something/anything to make those feelings less. The more we experience that discomfort, the more we rely on the unhealthy, risky, harmful behaviors as a salve, thus creating a superhighway in our brain (called a neural pathway). Each time we experience that emotional or situation trigger we automatically respond with our unhealthy behavior of choice. Creating a replacement behavior tells the brain that the next time we experience that emotional or situational trigger, we can take the road less taken to find comfort again, with fewer negative outcomes in the end.

With me? Now that you have an idea about why we created those old behaviors and the purpose for creating the new behavior, I bet you can guess the answers to those earlier questions. It depends. It depends on how often that specific emotional or situation trigger comes up. It depends on how long that old behavior has been the go-to response. It depends on the commitment to change. It depends on the support from others in sustaining that change. It depends on the duration and intensity of the triggers. It just depends on so many variables.

As if that wasn’t overwhelmingly a non-answer! So here’s some tips to get you started on your way to behavior change. And remember, you don’t have to do this alone; reach out to a therapist to help you navigate the changes you want to make in your life.

When to consider changing your behaviors

• your behavior is unsafe (i.e. self-injury)

• your behavior has lasting consequences to you or others (i.e. arrest, financial strain, damaged relationships)

• your behavior is illegal (i.e. risky sex, drugs)

What to know about the new behaviors

• choose a healthy replacement behavior (i.e. physical activity, therapy, talking to support person, prayer)

• choose the right time and place for it to be used (i.e. link that new behavior specifically to the trigger)

• carry out the new behavior repeatedly (i.e. practice it even when not needed so the new neural pathway is strengthened)

• congratulate yourself! reward yourself for practicing and using the new behavior when it’s done as designed.

So there you have it. Behavior modification is possible, it is achievable, and it is successful. It just takes work.