A Few of My Favorite Things

How many of you are now humming that song from the Sound of Music? I may have done that intentionally because it is one of my favorite movies this time of year (White Christmas starring Bing Crosby is the other). Read through to the end to learn why the song and movie is associated with Christmas. I know that you are so eager to learn about some of my favorite things, so here goes.

Therapy

Okay okay, i’m not biased on this I promise! Participating in therapy is a great tool for so many to find healing, solutions, restore confidence and learn new skills. According to a NAMI report 21% of U.S. adults experienced mental illness in 2020; that’s 52.9 million people, or 1 in 5 adults. Of those adults 46% received treatment. We can undoubtedly guess that during the global pandemic of 2020 these numbers in mental health and therapy needs increased from 2019. What was once very taboo has become a bit more normalized. Thanks in part to the Gen Z-ers who are very vocal about participating in therapy, to the influx of social media posts by lay persons and professionals related to therapeutic benefits. Here’s a tidbit that you may not know; even therapists have therapist. It’s our role to leave our worries outside the therapy room door so that we can be fully present for you. But that means we need someone to helps us process it all too.

Supplements

Let me be very clear before I start talking about this. I am not a licensed medical practitioner, but I am a certified health coach, so always consult your medical practitioner before starting a new supplement. If you want more information about the health coaching I offer, check out the page on my website. Based upon my own experiences using supplements paired with my training as a health coach, there are a few supplements that have proven to be valuable in improving moods, maintaining a healthy brain, and healthy lifestyle.

First up is omega fats. I am not a fish eater; in fact my motto as a child was ‘nothing from the sea.’ This has since changed and I now love mollusks and shellfish. However shellfish does not offer me the healthy omega 3 fats that come from cold water fish (e.g., salmon). Other healthy fats in the omega 6 + 9 variety are more prevalent in my daily diet. So I supplement with omega 3-6-9 pills. This article provides more details on the differences, sources and importance of taking omega fats in supplement form. Other supplements I highly recommend is magnesium and turmeric. Turmeric has many health benefits, the most notable is that it’s a natural anti-inflammatory and antioxidant. Additional benefits include improvements in brain health related to depression and prevention of Alzheimers (source). Lastly is magnesium, essential for brain and body health. It’s the most abundant mineral found in the body yet you’re likely not getting enough through your diet. Check out Dr. James DiNicolantonio’s videos on magnesium here and here.

Pets

If you’ve sat in my office or been in my virtual office, you’ve likely seen my cat. As ornery as she is, my cat is a calming force when I come home. She loves snuggles, has anxious attachment tendencies (is that possible in animals?!) and is a big talker, as are most Siamese cats. Owning a pet certainly comes with disadvantages (financial cost or clean up), yet more and more people own pets. Over half (57%) of the population owns at least one pet (source) which tells us there’s got to be something good for us about owning a pet. One study in particular looked at the wellbeing of owners, conducting 3 separate studies to find their conclusions. Improvements were more significant than originally proposed proving that owning a pet increases the social support aspect of the owner. Consider how many people you have become close with at the dog park because the dogs are playing together! Other benefits more commonly discussed from pet ownership include, reduction in depressive and anxious symptoms, improved self esteem, and increased physical activity. Considering getting a pet? Be sure to do your research on all the expectations and responsibilities of pet ownership. Plus there are opportunities for interactions with pets without the ownership responsibilities through volunteering at a shelter, working with therapy animal trainers, etc.

Laughter

You’ve heard the saying, laughter is the best medicine? And I’m guessing that you’ve even experienced the perks of laughter after a game night with friends. But just how good for you is it to laugh? The idea that laughter as medicine became a subject of interest in 1979 when Norman Cousins spoke about it’s analgesic effects on his own illness is his book An Anatomy of an Illness. Since then multiple studies have shown the psychological benefits of laughter; improving affect, reduction of depression and anxiety symptoms to name a few. In more recent years however there is growing evidence that laughter even has physiological benefits. This article outlines more of the details of the studies conducted. Suffice it to say that you could prescribe laughter for yourself and reap the psychological and physiological benefits. Creating a new weekly habit for 30-minutes belly laughing, a great way to share!

Looking ahead

Now that you’ve had a peak into a few of my favorite things, let’s return to the history of the song. Various stories suggest that the fame of the song, A Few of My Favorite Things, is because of Julie Andrews singing the song on The Garry Moore holiday special back in 1961 before the movie came out in 1964. Another story is that the song was created and performed to be a Billboard hit in preparation for the release of the Sound of Music movie in 1964. Still another story is that the tv stations wanted family friendly movies aired during the holidays when families were most often coming together, and Sound of Music was an easy choice. So as this year draws to a close in the coming weeks, I hope that you will embrace a few of your favorite things and share with others. May your smile be bright, your holidays be peaceful and your hearts be overflowing. Be Well!

Separated by our shared experiences

Blog by Kim Melendy

The 4th Wave of COVID: A Mental Health Crisis

Over the last two years, the pandemic has not only been an ongoing epidemiological crisis, but also a psychological crisis that will linger long after we return to a new normal.  A transformative shift in our collective conscious fueled by collective trauma and ambiguous loss has occurred around the world resulting in what is being called the 4th wave of COVID, a crisis of mental health.   During the height of the pandemic and continuing over the past year, our entire country has experienced what can only be described as a collective trauma.  We were coping together, but separately, throughout the quarantine and lockdowns.    Isolated together and yearning for connections that we took for granted in the past, we gained a newfound respect for all the connections that before COVID wouldn’t get a second thought. Then we felt a profound sense of loss as those connections faded and some even completely disappeared. However, we didn’t just lose the people; we lost the places too.  Those safe places, the places that gave our life structure and meaning.  As we return to normalcy, we are afraid to trust again - are those people, events, and places we once knew still safe?  We ask ourselves is my memory accurate, does reality match my inner perspective of what I lost?  Can what we lost be recaptured, relearning how to live, to reconnect with our friends, with family, and with the places we lost?  

Uniqueness amongst similarity

As we collectively begin to cope with the new normal of post pandemic life, another different wave is now upon us.  Prior to the pandemic, the rates of mental illness rose steadily in the US year over year, but now post-pandemic, the rates have exploded across all population groups.  Not only are we experiencing this explosion due to the costs incurred to our mental health during the pandemic, but also the mounting shift in mental health awareness in the last few years has been accelerated by the pandemic.  For many, the collective trauma of the pandemic sent us flocking to our social media where we found solace in the connections and in supporting each other through the difficult times.  We feel more secure than ever to talk about our struggles with mental health and to offer support to those we know are experiencing mental health issues.   We have experienced a unique group experience; we were experiencing the same isolation, fear, and uncertainty together.  Some of us coped by openly sharing deeply emotional and painful thoughts that in the past would have been brushed off. But now people are more supportive due to this collectively traumatic and slow-moving event.  The views on mental health and mental health treatment are changing dramatically and quickly due to this shift in mental health awareness.  Discussing mental health is now a new conversation that we can all engage in together.

Looming concerns

The emerging transformative discussions around mental health post-COVID can be seen as positive progress for us as a society.  However, this new wave of mental health demand has become a massive strain on an already weakened mental health system in the US.  Per a survey conducted by the APA in October 2021, waitlists are longer than ever and demand is outpacing availability for over 72% of their respondents.  Prospective clients are reaching out for help in navigating their struggles in this post-pandemic new normal yet the overload to both public agency and private practice clinicians in our mental health system force them to be turned away.  The ever present and growing demand for mental health services is not going away, and the implications of not addressing it could be detrimental for many people in our country and around the world.  Mental health struggles and the consequences affect not only us the individual, but also our family, community and institutions that surround us.  We cannot as a country allow our people to become hopeless in the face of this adversity.  We cannot hope to fully heal and recover from the pandemic while only addressing the medical need.  It is imperative that we tackle mental health simultaneously and with an equal amount of fervency and resources.  

My POV

As a graduate counseling student and current private practice intern, the prospect of entering a profession that is evolving and growing so quickly is exciting and at the same time extremely daunting.  The majority of my first client contacts have included a conversation regarding counselor availability, and the prospective clients’ experiences and past inability to find someone, anyone, with openings.  The relief I hear in their voices when I explain that I’m an intern and can offer open availability, brings me a sense of happiness for them that they found me; and in the same moment I am disheartened knowing there are so many others in my community who will be forced to continue searching.  Coming out of the last two years with my own experiences, it’s my goal as a counselor to use my practice to assist my clients with emerging from these difficult times with a new sense of awareness of themselves and of each other.  I’ll be encouraging my clients to seek positive influences in their lives as we return to our new normal and to extend that positivity into the community, in hopes that they will be healing themselves and their community along the way. 

Helpful Tips

If you, or someone you know, are struggling through this transition back to normal and have been unsuccessful in finding a counselor or services.  There are resources in the community and online that you can connect with to help with coping and bringing positive viewpoints into your life.  You can also share with others in your network who could also be struggling.

• Perform an audit of who and what organizations you follow on social media.  Are these connections adding to your life or is the content causing unneeded stress?  

• Seek out individuals and organizations that are producing social media content and providing support that you need at this moment.  This not only will improve your social media experience but also increase the reach of content providers making a difference in your community when you like and/or share posts.

• Reach out to your network for recommendations for digital support groups, this could be on Facebook, Discord or other social media platforms.

• Use these connections to network and be the first to know when a contact is offering counseling openings, forming new support groups, and/or other mental health resources you can take advantage of in the community.

• In the New Year, Total Wellness 365 will be resuming the support group called Women’s Wellness Circles.  This is an opportunity to build connections with other women that have been through similar experiences the last couple of years.  

Getting the ball rolling on building those connections and networks is the first step to healing and for our community to heal together.

A big thank you to our Counselor intern Kimberly Melendy for writing this information blog on how the mental health crisis is impacting our communities and her unique perspective. She can be reached by contacting the office.

5 tips to honestly answer the most common question

How are you?

The most common question asked today by friends, family, strangers, customer services reps; the list goes on and on. But how do we know when and what to say in response to this question? There are a few factors to consider, like who is asking, how much time do you have, and do you want to engage in a full conversation.

I feel…

In order to accurately share your current state, one must first fully know in fact how they are doing. We can do this by paying attention to our physical sensations and body language to identify your feelings. Check out my short video on how to successfully identify your feelings.

When you’re stressed or anxious it’s common to want to minimize the sharing of those details with others for fear that they may judge you for your stress levels (“she really doesn’t have her stuff together like I thought she did.”) or that maybe you’re exaggerating the severity (‘they must have low tolerance because that wouldn’t bother me!”). You may not want to share because it’s confidential or sensitive information, or that the other person may take it as an opportunity to one-up or problem solve for you. In the end, it’s your decision to share honestly. If you choose to, here are some benefits and tips to make it productive and keep it honest.

Sharing helps alleviate physical symptoms

• Persons experiencing stress from daily life often find themselves also experiencing increased physical ailments (headaches, irritable stomach, shoulder/back pain, clumsiness). By minimizing and or avoiding the information our body is telling us, we are essentially telling ourselves that we know better than our body.

• Our mind and body are intricately interconnected and most times our body tells us something is wrong long before our brain catches up.

• The longer we avoid or delay addressing the stressors the more physical ailments or damage may be done to our whole body. Think about the last time you were stressed, we may reach for the pint of ice cream or bag of chips, or alcohol. Sometimes even over exercising is harmful rathe than helpful. When we have honest acceptance with our own thoughts and feelings the greater the results will be for our mind and body, our relationships and performance.

Sharing helps us feel connected

• First and foremost by allowing ourselves to accept that we are stressed we can reduce our stress levels! By hiding, avoiding or minimizing our stress (from ourselves and from others) takes a lot of effort and energy. The less we spend on hiding it the more effort we have available to address it.

• We tend to believe that we are the only person(s) experiencing the stress or symptoms of stress which in turn leads us to believing that we are weaker than others, or even consider ourselves a failure at living a happy life. By sharing honestly with others that we are experiencing stress, normalizes it for us and for them. We might find a comrade in our stress and a partner in our efforts to reduce it.

• When we keep stress and stress thoughts to ourselves we can exaggerate them. As the car mirrors state, objects may seem close than they appear, when we hold onto these stress thoughts and feelings, we may see them as much more unmanageable or insurmountable than they really are. Share a stressor and find out that it’s more of a mole hill than a mountain,

Sure there are benefits, physically and mentally, in sharing our stress but how do we share it in a healthy and productive way?

How-to’s on answering honestly when stressed

1. The best way to begin is to take the first step-- accept that you are stressed about something and identify clearly what that is. Sometimes writing about it first (journaling) can help clarify what the root of the stress may be. Then tell yourself, out loud, “I’m stressed about _____ and I’m going to be okay.”

2. Be clear on whom you are willing to share the information. Keep in mind the situation (time and place) and the relationship (is it the floor clerk at the shoe store or your best friend).

3. Instead of saying, “I’m fine” try starting with saying "Thanks for asking", then add...

   • “I’ve got a lot on my plate right now and I’m learning how to manage it.”

   • You could say, “I’m handling all my responsibilities as best I can while taking care of myself.”

   • Or even “Life/work/family is causing me to feel ____ and I need to ________.”

4. Or try asking for help by saying, “I’m a bit overwhelmed and I could use some help with___.” Be specific in what you need help with. The more unclear or uncertain you are the less likely you are to secure the help, and stress relief, that you need.

5. Be brief. Depending on the relationship with the person asking, they may try to solve your problem for you or validate your stress and share their own (or worse one-up you). You may even find that the person asking either doesn’t really want to know the answer they’re just being polite or they become uncomfortable with your honesty and try to change the subject.

Honestly responding to the question, “how are you?” can be liberating! Try it out and let me know how it goes!