People enter therapy for a variety of reasons but at the core of it is that they want something to change. Change a response, change a behavior, change their goals, change their symptoms. Change is hard and change is not linear. Identifying the specific behavior, response, or emotional state that you want to change is only a part of the process. Once that’s identified, you must identify the new behavior, skills, or response that you wish to develop. This is called goal setting.

There have been a multitude of studies on the success rates of those that set goals (look up the Harvard study on goals). Sometimes though, even having a goal isn’t enough to create the change you desire. One key factor that is essential to the process is motivation.

Motivating Change

Motivation is defined as the need or desire to achieve a goal. It has as many faces as there are goals and people. It is the internal process or condition that moves us towards something different. It may be a feeling or physical sensation that we wish to experience differently. The source of motivation is internal, not external. We may want to display the accomplishments of our motivation externally (e.g. looking great for our high school reunion) yet the internal processes that create that desire are based in receiving affirmations or praise from others.

Stages of Change

Back in 1983, researchers James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente were studying participants in changing behavior, specifically smoking cessation. During this study they developed what are known today as the Stages of Change; a part of their Transtheoretical Model of Behavioral Change. Originally used to assist people create change from addictions, it has since been applied a plethora of behaviors. The stages follow the individual from the “I don’t have a problem” to the “I will skills to sustain my self improvement.” Check out this article for more detail.

1. Pre-Contemplation

2. Contemplation

3. Preparation

4. Action

5. Maintenance

Implementing Change

Once we can see change occurring within the therapeutic process, it’s rewarding! It’s like seeing that you can fit in that smaller dress size just in time for the high school reunion. The hardest part, though, is in consistently implementing the change. This is the process of creating new routines or habits, and developing new neural pathways. This is why I say change is not linear. We will have lapses or relapses. There will be setbacks. And you can restore your change behavior and move forward. Some tips to creating sustainable behavioral change.

1. Be clear on the internal motivation for creating change. When we try to fool ourselves into thinking that it’s something different, like trying to please someone else, we will not be as likely to maintain success.

2. Be consistent. Creating new behaviors, or change, requires time and effort. Once you have clarity on the internal motivation, you can find ways to remind yourself. Post notes on your mirror. Make a vision board. Set measured timelines to achieve mini goals. Practice daily.

3. Be compassionate. It’s nearly impossible to be 100% on point to your goal every single time. As we learn something new, we need to learn to fail as much as experience the success. It’s within the failures that we learn to adapt.

Change is hard and change isn’t linear. But change is possible.

Be Well.